Artist’s Impression

it’s been 9 months since i
wrote that list and despite
everything i wrote on it, i’m
still drinking heavily, surrounding
myself with possessions that
i think i need, but don’t really,
and still treating people badly
without any remorse and with
disregard for feelings. what’s
the matter with me ? you
either want to do it or you don’t.
people say you should play to
your strengths but how can i
when people won’t let me ?

everything was going too well, wasn’t
it ? but in the blink of an eye
it’s all turned round. it’s my own
fault but i don’t actually know
which way to turn now. people
don’t understand. they invariably don’t
get it. i hate this and i’m really
not happy with myself for being
like this.

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